The Fall of Rome
by The Anonymous Smiley Face
Summary: A humerous story about the adventures of the gboys. No pairings, and it's all of them together, not specifically one character or another. Please read and review!


A joint fic written by Pyrros, Snake Mistress and Serra (but mostly Serra) during a sugar induced haze. Basically, it was written by Serra, edited by Pyrros, and inspired/made amusing by Snake Mistress.

Disclaimer: If you sure, despite the fact that we clearly don't own gundam wing (nor Ranma, for the turning into something else is vagely stolen—er, taken from there) , all you'll get is Pyrro's little brother, a pair of mismatched socks, and that old sandwich in the back of the fridge. And now on to the story!

The Fall of Rome

Chapter One: In the Beginning

In the beginning, there was nothing. Not, wait, that's a lie, there were, like rocks and junk. Some hills, maybe a water body or two. Perhaps a frog, some bags, floating stuff, apples, a bag of cheese, our freaky neighbor Joe, some ravenous sheep and, oh! A lone rubber band. And than there were two. The five gundam pilots found the rubber bands. And as we all know 5 - 2 2 rubber bandless gundam pilots . . . and a fish. This, however, is not their story . . . but it makes for a good introduction.

The two rubber bands lay innocently on the ground, burdening the nearby blades of grass with their troubles. Their life was one of hardship. Pulled from their rubber band children (they had three) and their rubber band parents (they had three), and I know what you're thinking (you should stop), for some things are better left unkown. But if you're the rebellious type and _are_ thinking, then you can understand their woes. But no matter how much the grass wanted to help, not even their photosynthesis powers could save the rubber bands from their fate. . .

"Hey look!" The cheery voice that only an idiot could possess rang out, "A rubber band, no—wait, TWO!" The five gundam pilots, just having returned from a thrilling trip to outer space, full of enemies, battles, and life threatening situations, decided to relax by taking some time off on a nature hike. All of them had their reasons for using the lame "taking a hike" excuse. Wufei and his inner turmoil over who the enemy was. Trowa and that freak circus accident. Quatre had had a bit of a mental crisis when he came to the conclusion that the depletion of the ozone was because of his lacking abilities. Duo was just back from the asylum after that terrible Easter misunderstanding, and of course, Heero had his carious crimes. In short the majority pleaded insanity and then left without question.

While walking along the bank of some unknown river something quite ordinary and not very shiny caught Duo's eye. His purple orbs glanced over them once, twice, thrice! And then finally the info was processed. As usual the black clad boy exclaimed the first thing that came to mind which was, again as usual, the obvious.

The rubber bands shivered with fear, as the dark figure bent down to pick them up. The grass wailed, seeds cried, and in a valiant attempt to save the woeful rubber bands even nature cut in. The ground shook, trees quaked, every known force was trying to save the 'bands. But in the end, it was the g-pilots own top heaviness that brought his down fall, and while reaching down for the rubber bands, he managed to lose his balance and tumble into the cold waters. His form was superb, remaining in the same bent position even while making contact with the water. Though he did get points off for a messy entrance.

"Should we, uh, help him?"

"No. If we're lucky he might drown." Wufei stated matter-of-factly. But before the others could even begin to hope, Duo pulled a Ranma. For those uneducated few who happen to be reading this fanfic of depression, and do not understand that reference . . . tough luck (1). The other four pilots walked closer to the river bank and stared for a while into the watery abyss. The braided baka (2) had been under for the longest time and the stream of air bubbles was ceasing to be.

To the shock of the gundam pilots, a fish with a long brown braid leapt out of the water, flapping his tail at the other boys in what seemed to be a mocking gesture. There was a silence for a moment, until Heero's voice broke what all the other gundam pilots were thinking. . .

"What the hell was that?"

The fist, which oddly resembled Duo, came splashing out of the water again, remaining in the air for a brief moment before returning to the rushing river. This time it was the pilot with the hairdo of elongated, pointy eye-coveringness who spoke up, "I believe that braided fish is Duo." The pilot of Chinese origin crossed his arms and sent a glare in Trowa's direction, "How do you figure, Barton?"

"Well I came to the assumption upon reading that sign." The clown replied, calmly stretching out a long slender arm to point in the direction of a sign.

"Sign?" Came the baffled reply as the other three's eyes focused on the wooden sign which read:

Warning: River of the Drowned Fish

No matter what circumstances do_ not_ fall in.

Not: Simon's sign and name tag company is

not responsible for an magical mishaps.

A long pause followed; no one uttered a single word. Everyone was completely dumbfounded by the sign. Heero's eye lid quivered upward into a disgusted twitch. Finally, Wufei exploded, "How the fuck does a fish drown?" As soon as the foul words had left the Chinese boy's mouth, a small black fish with amethyst eyes and Duo's long brown braid floated to the surface, gaping for air while flopping about, for he hadn't yet learned to use his gills. Black eyes narrowed to slits, his glare completely focused on Duo the fish.

Quatre laughed nervously, "Only Duo. . ."

They all went silent, watching the drowning fish. gurgle gurgle splash gulp splash All eyes intently watched the fish. gulp splash splash flop gurgle flop flop splash. Finally, with a shrug Heero turned to leave. Quatre turned as well, worry written across his face, "Heero?"

"Just leave him. He'll figure out how to breathe eventually." In silent agreement, the others followed, and that, my friend, is the story of how the rubber bands were saved . . . or so we tricked you into believing. . .

Okay, so it was their story. We lied, get over it.

* * *

(1) "...pulling a Ranma." What was meant that when he fell into the river, he turned into something else. If you went immediately from that part to here, then go back up and keep reading, because then you'll see what he turned into.

(2)Even if you haven't been reading gundam wing fanfiction for a while, you _should_ know what this word means. I mean, it's used all over fandom . . . at least to describe Duo. Anywho, it means idiot.

Preview for Chapter Two, called "Silence of the Lambs"

The g-boys visit a farm, a quaint little establishment, and meet a vicious creature of epic proportions. And you thought Relena wasn't going to be in this one!

Please review when your done reading, whether it be to flame us into extinction, or to tell us you'd like the next chappy. 'Cause ya see, we've already written chapter two, and we're on three, but refuse to post it unless we find that people actually want to read it. Kapish?


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